i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
