I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
