she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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