Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
