Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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