she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
ugly people sure do ruin things
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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