his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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