I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
