brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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