pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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