I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
