I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
