love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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