All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
