shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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