so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
