So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
whose ass print is on the piano?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
