Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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