My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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