I'm drive I can fine osifer
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
