After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
