I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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