I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
