This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
