two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
