ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
