Christians are straight up FREAKS
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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