One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
