Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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