Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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