At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
