some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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