I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
