What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
