when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
