dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
