how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
