I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I have post one night stand depression
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