I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
