he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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