Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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