How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
