I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
