Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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