Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Randomize
