i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Randomize
