drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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