Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
