Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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