I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
