Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
