Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
