Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
